Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
