five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
