i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
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He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He? As in you personified your dick?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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