just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
