it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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