The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
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the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
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She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head