BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize