How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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