Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
50% drunk capacity currently
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
