He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
