Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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