If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
