I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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