So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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