she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize