First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
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the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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