I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
