We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Randomize
