We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
