Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just gift wrapped bread.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
