just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
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i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
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Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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