I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You don't make any sense
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