lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
