I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
