Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
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If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
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Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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