It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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