you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
