how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The struggles of a small town man whore
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
