Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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