oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize