youre lurking in front of me
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
