Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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