Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
