you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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