i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
