You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
