Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
