That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
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