You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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