so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
