weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
