i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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