I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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