Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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