Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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