# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
