Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
