So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
