Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
