So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
