Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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