I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
the raccoons are back...
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