There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
