"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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