The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
