He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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