It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i barfeds in our rink
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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