ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
